The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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