i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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