I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize