i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i think my tv is drunk
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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