I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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