HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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