heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize