Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
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She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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