All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
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you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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