i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He? As in you personified your dick?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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