tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize