I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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