weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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