I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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