My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
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I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
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It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My vagina just clenched in fear
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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