I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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