Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
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Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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