It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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