once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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