Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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