I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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