The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
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Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
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I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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