How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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