so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
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Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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