Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
you made out with another girl for some wings
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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