There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
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What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
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Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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