idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
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He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
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That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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