Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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