Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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