how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
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There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
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Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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