Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize