just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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