Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize