somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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