Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
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Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
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Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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