My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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