They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize