Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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