There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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