I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize