Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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