Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize