Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Food network will be on but we won't be watching

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  O by "watching" I mean "background noise"

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  (248): Food network will be on but we won't be watching (1-248): O by "watching" I mean "background noise" http://tfl.nu/n3tt
  Replies (2) Good night (917) Bad night (359) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.

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  (419): I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl. http://tfl.nu/cxal
  Replies (23) Good night (1405) Bad night (1076) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.

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  (412): When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career. http://tfl.nu/solb
  Replies (2) Good night (518) Bad night (1958)
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  (858): View more from California

  I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.

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  (858): I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association. http://tfl.nu/vbvm
  Replies (15) Good night (4234) Bad night (392) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?

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  (713): I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit? http://tfl.nu/mgmc
  Replies (78) Good night (636) Bad night (2890) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.

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  (818): She made Precious look like a solid 6.5. http://tfl.nu/qn24
  Replies (32) Good night (580) Bad night (5731) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!

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  (770): A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES! http://tfl.nu/kktf
  Replies (21) Good night (4316) Bad night (785)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors

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  (973): He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors http://tfl.nu/k8g7
  Replies (8) Good night (5371) Bad night (1780) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar

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  (513): you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar http://tfl.nu/7jk8
  Replies (21) Good night (6154) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.

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  (807): at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket. http://tfl.nu/odip
  Replies (8) Good night (4973) Bad night (1369) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here

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  (519): i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here http://tfl.nu/yje7
  Replies (7) Good night (2446) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.

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  (812): well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me. http://tfl.nu/v83s
  Replies (2) Good night (1109) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.

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  (360): Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours. http://tfl.nu/m716
  Replies (4) Good night (416) Bad night (1325) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.

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  (520): One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops. http://tfl.nu/4y8e
  Replies (10) Good night (1873) Bad night (582) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears

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  (218): Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears http://tfl.nu/spts
  Replies (1) Good night (545) Bad night (921)

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