I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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