Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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