btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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