I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
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I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
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You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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