i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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