Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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