yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
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Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
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i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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